Single? or Attached?

Recently, there is this one friend of mine who brought up a question that makes me think.

-Do you prefer to be single or do you prefer to be attached?

This question has helped my brain to work a little since God knows when. So I answered him within a minute(or less) of thinking(we were chatting on msn).

-I suppose it all depends. If friends around you are attach and they always bring their partner out when you guys hang out, I suppose you will feel eager to get yourselves one as well! If friends around you are mostly single, I suppose you would not feel the urge that much!

-I suppose...

-Do your prefer to be attached or being single?

-Attached I suppose.

-I can't imagine you saying that! (not with his player reputation!)

Let's not get into personal gossip.

Anyway, this question has made me think for the past couple of days. The reason is, I didn't answer that question at all, I just gave a general idea. While searching for an answer for myself, I am having some reminiscence of my good old days......

When I was younger (I'm still young), I was never willing to commit for a long term relationship. I have always had an idea that 'what if I meet a better guy during the relationship?' Therefore, in order not to fall into the category as 'player' or 'heart-breaker' or 'scandal', I chose to be single. Along the way, I've got in and got out of some relationships, have had some sort of unclear relationship and have seen dramas repeating around me. Of all these, I've experienced life in different aspects. Love, hatred, trust, betrayal, happiness, sadness, hope, disappointment, peer pressure, satisfaction, emptiness... All these lessons, I've learned it either directly or indirectly.

Besides, I loved freedom(still do, but not as eager as I used to be). I hate guys who loves to control their partner. Come on man, I have a mum at home, I wouldn't want another 'mum' in my social life. Therefore, this is one of the reason for me not to commit into relationship (maybe it's just my phobia as I had some bad ones).

After all the reminiscence, I am yet to reach a conclusion. However, I know that I've grown up a lot. I know what I really want in looking for an ideal (not perfect) partner after all the relationships I've been through. I've learned to be understanding as I used to see things only from one angle of the situation. I've learned to compromise and accept a person for who he is. I've learn how to communicate and have contructive conversation. I've learned a lot.

However, there are still long way ahead of me. I am looking forward to that.