Reminiscence

Friday, October 29, 2004

Being Twenty-Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." Have a read. Have a think.

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Let your twenty something friends read this as well. Maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...

3 Comments:

  • Hmm...deep thoughts.

    I guess i still qualify to be called *twenty-something*.

    1. Stop going along with the crowd -hell yeah, i could very well say that i'm my own man now. I do not need to succumb to peer pressure, or do stupid things, just to be acknowledged by the crowd.

    2. Feeling insecure - yeap, i graduated pretty late, i would say like about 3 or 4 years ago. By then, most of my friends, my age, or younger, has been working for like 3 years or so. Being left out in the chase(for the big piece fo cheese), and starting to feel responsibilities coming in, it is definately better to be sitting for exams, than face the daily stress of thing called work.

    3. People being selfish - You can say that again. Infact, as where i am now, it still applies. People will be still be selfish even if they are 70. It is human nature.

    4. Work - well, i am totally doing something different from what i was totally trained for. Infact, from as far as i can remember, i've been doing loads of stuff, from being an office boy after finishing my form 5, to being some bicycle mechanic and delivery boy after my Form 6, then i found myself doing a couple of odd job, like setting up giant speakers in teh wee hour of night, when you are supposed to be having some wet dream...well, i guess life goes on.

    5. Stronger opinions/character - I used ot think that i was very very much an introvert than an extrovert. Well, tha tis until someone told me that they hated my guts. I've been fairly outspoken throughout my life, and i've blabbed things i shouldn't. Then again, it is my opinion, they are more than free to take a hike and F Off.

    6. Love - Strange as it is, it is funny if you were to think about it. I came out of a sore relationship that lasted like 8 years and found that she was cheating on me. Once bitten, twice why, people would say, but what and how would you feel, if the girl went back to the otehr guy the very next day, after seeking your apologies yesterday? I've had my fair share of encounter with people that thinks that love is all about money. Glad that i've found the ONE and married to her since. We sometimes go searching for the things we want, but fail to realise that the thing is right infront of US!

    7. Boring your friends with the same thing - LOL, sounded like the usual stuff me and my best bud would go through. He comes back once every year, and we could talk until the next morning, and after a couple of jugs of homemade Milo Ice...gosh...and he thinks that Malaysian Food are fattening! hahahaha...

    So, there you go, as bad as it is, i guess, there isn't any cloud that the sun won't shine through!

    By Blogger Stupe, at Wed Nov 03, 06:48:00 PM 2004  

  • hah! thx for sharing ur experience! wellz, i would not say that im totally on my own now but im not as moved by peer pressure anymore! ie, i dun need to go clubbing every week to prove my existence, etc. in fact, i feel old now coz im juz too lazy to go clubbing unless there is some special events!

    im graduating soon, so i suppose im in this dilemma thingy where im still considering on further my studies or start working! *sigh*

    You can say that I've grown up a lot when i study overseas since 4 yrs ago...I felt that i was super naive and still is, i suppose. The selfishness in human is juz so ugly that i started to doubt whether r there any good in this world.

    hmmm...i suppose i hv experience lotsa heart broken in relationships. i believe its karma as well. nevertheless, I've learned to know what im really looking for in my future partner and learned how to appreciate! i juz wish i haven't miss any good man that pass by in my life. *finger cross*

    My future is unpredictable and im too worried that the money i earned is not enough for the amount I'm spending right now...Im startin to wonder how can my parents support me n my bro for all these years! respect!

    still ponder...

    By Blogger Amazing, at Fri Nov 05, 01:48:00 PM 2004  

  • heheh..

    No worries. always ready to share...afterall, life's too short to learn all the mistakes by yourself. SO, chin up, learn from other people's mistake. take short cut.

    *wink wink*

    By Blogger Stupe, at Tue Nov 09, 05:52:00 PM 2004  

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